The Dreamer. Long. Lost.

Living a life with hearty smiles, heavy tears and lots of good people! So if I sound like an elderly person, excuse me, I have just arrived at my mid-twenties- an age where realizations pop-up (out of nowhere) and relationships get bonded (with family and friends, for the good). Maybe I’am not one amongst the ‘lucky ones’ who have earnings in six digits, or an accredited ‘doctor, or ‘engineer’ tag (they say those are the privileged and accepted qualifications). But I’am happy in my own way. Thanks to a group of close ones whom I’am tightly knitted to, and the most understanding mother. I cannot ask for anything better.

I prefer not living the set norms. I dream. I dream a lot. And I’am still confused and baffled at the thought of ‘how I shall churn them into realities’. Ask me about my aspirations. Traveling, people, books, writing, cultures and the way they live it, lots of greens and blues, colors inter-twined by nature and man-kind, food, beautiful attires, rains. I want to see them all. Relish every bit of it, and meet their depths. Live them to my heart’s content.

Holy. My dreams sound very ‘unrealistic’, don’t they? Well, for a 25 year old Malayali girl realizing those dreams are more ‘nightmarish’ than ‘dreams’. Literally. My real love, now, seems to be in all that I mentioned above. Maybe I have been labeled ‘freak’, for all my supposedly freakish thoughts, but yeah! Who doesn’t have them?

Sometimes god wants you to meet certain people, and he/she (I’am not a feminist. But I still don’t believe god is ‘male’!) knows that you shall be happy with them. God puts you into the right hands, and knows what you need. You cling on, automatically. Cos’ that is where you belong to (that sense of feeling). And the funniest part is, how you would’ve never ever thought of being a part of their lives. And how they influence you, and mould you into the person you are now. I owe my dreams and aspirations to umpteen of them out there. Friends whom I have had over the years, lovely set of cousins and relatives, people who have loathed me for the person I’am and much more. My dreams would’ve been so different if not for them.

Life would have been a bed of roses if you could do all what you loved. It would have been so uncomplicated if everyone thought alike. But yeah, getting back to reality, I live in a world where there are a million different thinkers, and they all think and act from pole 1 to pole 100. So why do I expect warmness and applauds to my dreams? Maybe I should just chase them. Maybe I would pass a giggle reading this on my blog, another 3 years from today. But I can show my ‘then people’ that once upon a time I had dreams, and they were these. Let me leave it to time, to tell rest of the tales…. What if I’am really living my dreams then…